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The Hardest Thing Lyrics

♥ PROFILE

M!ng-k!a, Jam!e, Alv!n, zhenm!ng.
310190.
cckps --> dss --> NP(AT)
scz2535m@hotmail.com

♥ DESIRES
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♥ FRIENDS

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4e2 '06.
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ARCHIVES;

December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 March 2008 December 2008 January 2009

CREDITS;

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Picture: Hollowland
Brushes

Sunday, July 31, 2005
10:06 PM

had a hectic dae...
helped my dad to move his office...
um...
frm 8 - 8...
at least derez some 'salary' to take...
hahaxX...
damn damn tired nw la....
yeah...
raikonnen won again...
he rawkz man....
believe he will win alonso...
hope when derez no hope...

ZzZzZzZzZz.....

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Thursday, July 28, 2005
7:34 PM

tis world iz full of reality... if u are rich and famous, ppl will come fer you... when ur the opposite, ppl will treat u lyk a piece of junk... right nw im inside the catagory of junk... despising myself nw... but dun think i will in near future... but iz tt realli whr the problem lies?? i think the greatest problem liez in the ppl arnd me... izzet bad to be quite and obedient boy who does nt fool arnd? am i under tt catagory nw?? i dunnoe know... nw my life iz damn stirred up tt i cant even define myself... nw im juz a butterfly which cnot fly... cant reach fer the air and cant crawl like a cetipillar it used to be... stucked in the middle and cnot get out... im totally lost... alot of qnz goin thru my mind nw... sad to say i dun hav an answer fer anione of those... haixX... am i derserving wad i derserve??
u suck man... y dun u juz get outta my life... i cried when i knew u are leaving... y tt happen?? coze i treat u as one of my bestest friend... and nw i deserve tis treatment... y nt u juz go ta HELL...

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Wednesday, July 27, 2005
9:52 PM

i can make it on my own...

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Monday, July 25, 2005
7:45 PM

still im trying to cool down
and think at the positive side
at least nw im happier than before
being wad i am
rather than being wad im nt
everything gt itz pros and cons
im juz getting the cons
stills finding the pros
at least frm all these events tt had happened
i found out who are the betta friendz
and who r nt
im settling dn nw
proirity on my golf...

toking bout golf
it was disaster fer me ytd on the course
aft raining fer hours and dayz
the ground iz damn soft la...
took me sometime to figure out how to play
even though wif bad score
itz alrite
at least ive learnt another lesson
still targeting my first tournament wif adults at december
wif more practise
i believe i will make it...
muahahaxX...

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Saturday, July 23, 2005
10:29 PM

urgh...!
damn f***ed up nw...
tot todaez zaharah tuitorial will start at 830
i forgot zahara ytd came our class and confirm the time was 8
in the end, other ppl go at 9 and i go at 11
whose fault...?
itz urz...
u shld noe who u r...
frm so-called gd friendz
and nw became so-called enermy
nt the first time u did tt to me liao
had enough of u already
u nver think of other pplz feeling
tried to bare wif u
but found out i couldnt'
so wad u hav a large network of friendz
dey will be sick n tired of u soon
maybe itz my fault??
making more enermies than friends nwadaez...
how could tis hav happened to me...??
can anibody giv me an answer??
im totally lost...
trying to concentrate on my golf and studies nw
nt thinking of the unhappy thingz...
i believe i can do it...
one dae...

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Wednesday, July 20, 2005
9:48 PM

juz another typical dae fer me... found out another two weaknesses of me todae... indecisive; slow-thinker. Indecisive - playing soccer and cnot make up a decision how to play it when i gt the ball... ttz oso applies in my life... cnot determine the direction tt i want to go... Slow-thinker - was doin' mathz todae when i found out my thinking iz apparently slower than other ppl... in life, took a beri long time to come out wif a topic to chat wif other ppl... tt sux man... totally hate it...
our neighbourz, the 4e4z, kena scolding by mdm zaharah, which iz clearly seen frm our class todae... dey were making so much noise when mdm zaharah came in and scolded dem... reason fer making noise - everybody in the class expect one chap agreed to wear traditional costume fer racial harmony tmr... then, dey started calling tis chapz name and ttz how the noise came by... um... think itz quite stupid la... hahaxX...

still trying to make a change

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Tuesday, July 19, 2005
9:52 PM

failure?? hell yes... i had proved tt im one of dem... haixX.. can't even organise a small group properly... tried so hard to get it together in the end itz still crushed... argh...! dun even think im fit to be a chairman fer comp club... doubting my ability... give up when difficulty strikez; nt determined; no gutz to take challenges; laziness... haixX... juz a simple task to organise a camp and i screwed it all up... getting more enermiez.. wad the hell am i exactly doin man...!! screwing my life up... wadd a failure..
nearly silp and fell down infront of her... haix... so paisae... totally out of sense aft tt... :(
went fer mr kaanz oral test todae... damn guai lan sia... half the converstaion iz by him lo while im the one who iz suppose to take the test... dumb la... liao la... think i fail already la.. hahaxX... firx time i gt confidence to pass my e.mathz and physics test taken todae... i actually studied fer the test lo... can't believe i actually did tt... gd sign of recovering... hahaxxX

so wad if i dun talk, dun chat and dun sms... izzet sumthing tt im doin wrong??
torturing myself in a lost and lonely world... can't see wadz my nxt step... juz floating arnd tryin beri hard to make a change.. juz wanna cry..

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Monday, July 18, 2005
8:44 PM

student leadership investiture ceremony... aint i suppose to be in it... haixX.. wadz the hell lo... club chairman watching other ppl representing the club.. havin high hopez of goin to the slc but didnt get chosen... only 3 wordz to describe my feeling nw - disappointed, f**ked up
gt physics and e.mathz test tmr lo... dun even hav the feeling to study nw... still thinking of the student leadership thingy... haixX... summore e.mathz i dun even understand a single shit lo... die...
im feeling so weak nw... im a failure in every little thing... juz feel lyk goin to slp and forget everything...

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Saturday, July 09, 2005
10:47 PM

juz feeling tired...
no feelingz fer thingz arnd me...
which iz suppose to be gd...
but after all bad...
haixX...
why aint dere a perfect solution fer everything...
life sux...

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Friday, July 08, 2005
10:59 PM

another week has past... and still derez alot of hw everydaae... haixX... gt so many hw lo... dunnoe wad the teacherzz thinking nwadaez... think we god sia... hahaxX...
woke up tis early morning at aanrd 3am lo... having a headache until i cannot slp and found out i gt fever... sianxX... hate being sick... dunnoe whether tmr wanna go golf or nt... haixX... y i so weak sia... hahaxX... then i todae whole dae in class slp lo... regretted making the decision to go sch...

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Saturday, July 02, 2005
11:31 PM

wah lao...
my stamina realli veri bad lo... cnot make it... play 100 balls in the driving range onli then tired lyk siao already... nid to go fer more running... hahaxX... situation: realli beri bad.... haixX... wasn't concentrating todae... tiredness... it sux...
sony ericsson accessories are so fucking expensive la... juz bought a battery not long ago fer 65 buckz then nw bought a earpiece fer 50 buckx.... so ex la... tot the earpiece will onli be arnd 20 buckx... nver expected it ot be so ex... haixX...

expressing the emptiness inside me..

Friday, July 01, 2005
11:59 PM

damn tired...
went to malaysia fer golf aft sch todae lo...
then had the suckist game i had ever since i had picked up my tempo...
haixX...
tired, no energy...
nt ideal to hav a game aft sch...
hahaxX....
finally, the first week of school in term 3 iz over... summary fer tis week: tired, exciting, suay and becoming guai kia.... muahahaxX.... tried to change my opinion of schooling, but still think school sux...! had a tummy ache frm tis morning and itz still aching nw... sianxX.... maybe ttz a factor tt leads to the bad score?? hahaxX.... who noez...

expressing the emptiness inside me..